sAFETY BEACH

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 MORNINGTON PENINSULA

The Valley News

Gentlemen`s Golf Results Monthly Medal Stroke 19/11/2016

Results of Golf, Wine Draw and Raffle

Medal Winner

Bob Driver   =   61 nett

A Grade

Winner  Ian Bright   =    64

R/up    Alan Coustley     =      65

B Grade

Winner  Steve Ryan    =     62 c/b

R/ up    David Bryan     =     62

C Grade

Winner    Bob Driver     =     61

R/up    Fred Hedges     =      65

Ball Winners

Peter Le Beouf     =    63

Emilio Librando     =     63

John Hasler      =     66

John Roach    =    67

John Farthing   =    68

Mike Jackson     =     69

Matt Herrick   =    69

Neil Fredricson    =     69

Nearest the Pins

2nd Hole   =    Rob Di Virgilio

6th Hole    =    Peter Le Beouf

12th Hole   =   Peter Johnstone

13th Hole    =     David Barnes

Supapin

Was won by David Bryan on the 4th Hole

Wine Draw

No winner so two bottles next week

Raffle & Norm`s Ramblings

Saturday’s golf was played in great conditions again, with prize-winners being David Mair and a couple of Helen Short’s guests who will be referred to as L&R. They all won meat trays. The Crown Lager six-pack was won by John “Fifty Shades of Grey” Gray. Both David and John have been unseen in raffle results over the years, so it’s nice to see another couple of names finally have success.

The following piece of mail found its way into the golf club this week. We’re not too sure where it evolved, nor can we say who it applies to, but we’ll leave it to the reader to draw his or her own conclusions.
A STAR IS BORN

My Dear Matt
 
You may remember our previous communication when you were informed that your audition application for “Dancing With The Stars” was unsuccessful. We indicated that another production was in the pipeline, featuring the “Shrek” character of movie fame. That production has now been shelved. However, we are proud to announce that a production featuring the character “The Incredible Hulk” is being considered, and we see this as a possibility to use your talents. Unfortunately, the original title is subject to copyright, so our character will be named “The Incredible Bulk”, with the nickname “Bulky”. We expect that this show will be part of next year’s Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras when the entire cast will be featured in the parade the day after opening night at the Sydney Opera House.
 
You will have plenty of opportunities to show your talents, especially in the children’s matinee where you will feature in several show-stoppers. We see you as the perfect actor to play the Shirley Temple scene, when you will need to sing and dance to “On The Good Ship Lollypop” after being lowered down from the ceiling on a rope and being carried around the stage throwing lollypops and Chupa-Chups to the audience in a superb finale.
 
The opening of the show will feature you in a brilliantly choreographed song and dance to “Hey Big Spender!” (a dedication to hopeless horseracing backers), and there will be several quick changes of costume, because you will be featured on stage for most of the show’s highlights. Don’t let this put you off because backstage we have the ideal male dressers who will help you change. Our boys are all very experienced, even though the majority are gay, and will help you cope with any embarrassment you may feel, especially when you have to squeeze into a lycra costume for the bike-riding scene.
 
Yours in the spirit of the best in entertainment
Mervyn Fistman, Choreographer
 
P.S. Could you please advise us of your size in bikini briefs.

 

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