POLL DANCING
After a few weeks of rain-affected golf and attendances, we managed to get a raffle organised just for Polling Day, and even though 10 mm of rain fell on Thursday and Friday nights the raffle turned into a success. First Cliffex meat tray was won by Helen Short’s guests P and L who are part of a small group sharing in our late Saturday afternoons. We thank them for spending time and money with the golf club. The second Cliffex meat tray was won by Tony de Corrado with his own ticket, not Di’s. The six-pack of Crown Lager was won by John Buckley.
I’m about to let you into a little secret. With the election coming up, and rain interrupting our golfing activities, I decided to enter the election for the Senate with my own party, named “The Safety Beach Raffle Party”. In no time at all the reply came back refusing this nomination. I was mortified, thinking that by running a raffle with this name I would be able to conduct proceedings from home, with tickets selling through e-mail, and not having to worry about wet course conditions when I was sitting in the Senate. Well, off to the local electorate office I went to complain. It was explained to me that my party could not legally exist with the outcome centred on raffle money and prizes, as well as party pies, sausage rolls, cheese and bickies and cocktail frankfurts. I still stated it was unfair. The electorate officer got on his high horse and said: “Unfair! Do you realise just what goes on here at election time? Just from Safety Beach we have to put up with nutters every election. Last week we had a couple of shaved headed men come in and try to set up ‘The Skin Heads Party’. Funny names, too, like Herrin or Herak or something like that. And then we had a Messrs Andisson and McGravy who wanted to have ‘The Vertically Challenged Party’, a New Zealander who tried to con us into allowing ‘The Fush and Chups Party’, some nondescript deadbeat offering us a huge bag of golf balls if we would register ‘The Greasy Armpits Party’ as well as ‘The Unfair Golfing Handicap Party’, a Mr Rouch wanted to start ‘The Detailing Party’ but wasn’t prepared to give any details about it, and to top it all off we had a group of scantily dressed mature ladies (names unknown) who wanted to set up ‘The Poll Pole Dancing Party’ to entertain voters on the day! My mind boggles at what goes on in your area!”
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