The Valley News

Results of Ladies and Gentlemen`s Golf 11/06/2016

Results Of Golf, Raffle & Wine Draw

Ladies Golf

Tuesday 7th June 2016 – Stroke/Putting Monthly Medal & Silver Spoon Play Off
Winner:  Jean Harle H/Cap 22 Nett 75. Congratulations to Jean who won the Silver Spoon play off & now represents our club at Keysborough GC on the 7th November.
Runner Up: Val Morrison H/Cap 30 Nett 81
Putting: Jean Harle with 29 putts.
N.T.P: Sheradyn Johnson on the 2nd hole.
Only 7 players finished due to the heavy rain & wind.
There was no 9 hole competition on Tuesday due to the dreadful weather.

There was no comp on Saturday once again due to the awful weather. We have our fingers crossed for a fine day on Tuesday, it would be nice for a change!!

Gentlemen`s Golf


Glenn Lazzar  =    38


Jimmy Rogers   =   36 c/b

Ball Winners

Wayne Coustley  =   36

David Ballingall     =   34

Kevin Biggadike   =    33

Mike Szietz    =    33

David Thompson    =    33

David Bryan    =     33

Nearest the Pins

6th Hole   =   Rob Law

17th Hole    =    Frazer Rankine


Was won by Col Anderson on the 4th Hole

Wine Draw

the 4 bottles were won by David Bryan

Raffle & Norm`s Ramblings

Well, that’s an easy question to answer. It’s like asking where were all the golfers on Saturday? Or how many players whimped, just like I did? Or why doesn’t the club have tables set up with trivia questions, or chess and draughts boards, or Monopoly when the wind howls and the rain squalls pelt down? No folks! It just won’t happen with this sort of weather, when I can look out my back window on a Saturday morning and see a grand total of three pairs of golfers pass me by. It just doesn’t make a raffle worthwhile, nor does it inspire me to count out party pies or sausage rolls to suit those I do observe. I do think those particular golfers may have been green fee players. You know the sort. Been working all week, planned to have a game on Saturday morning, and hell and high water will NOT be stopping us. Nothing much to talk about, except the three ladies last Tuesday who got caught up in heavy rain outside our place, saw our sign saying “No! Not here! Try next door!” and finally managed to struggle into the house next door for shelter. They were too wet, and my wife would have made me sponge the floors for 24 hours to dry them out. The floors, not the lady golfers.
I think the following is worth your consideration:
80,000 Collingwood Fans met at the MCG for a “Collingwood Fans Are Not Stupid” Convention.
Eddie says: “We are all here today to prove to the world that Collingwood fans are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
Dane Swan gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
Eddie asks him: “What is fifteen plus fifteen?”
After 15 or 20 seconds Swan says, “Eighteen!”
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then all 80,000 Collingwood Fans start chanting “GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!”
Eddie says: “Well, since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance.”So he asks: “What is seven plus seven?”
After nearly 30 seconds Swan eventually says, “Ninety!”
Eddie is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh – everyone is disheartened. Swanny starts crying and the 80,000 Collingwood fans begin to yell and wave their hands shouting “GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!”
Eddie, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says: “OK! OK! Just one more chance…What is two plus two?”
Swanny closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says: “Four!”
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 Collingwood fans jump to their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream…

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